Car Trouble
by Inks Inc
Summary: Tony and Tim's day goes from bad to worse when a little vehicular misfortune comes into play. Warning: Spanking. One-Shot.


Staplers, punch holes and even a very congealed sandwich went soaring into the air. Both desk drawers were ripped open and their contents horribly askew. Tony frantically pawed through his messy assortment whilst Tim conducted a frenzied search of his extremely organised clutter. When they both straightened up to look at each other, the answer to the unspoken question was shining in the other's eyes. Tony's guttural groan of dismay caught the askance of two passing secretaries, but he couldn't even begin to care less. His hair was tightly clenched in his balled fists as despair rocketed through him.

"McGee. Please. Think. You're the brainiac so would you please _think?"_

"I have been thinking," Tim responded through clenched teeth, "And I just can't remember. We had them when we parked up the van and then we came in here. We came straight here, no detours. We've searched the car lot and the corridors leading to here and now, here. So there is no reasonable explanation for where they are, alright? They're gone, there's no explanation and our lives are over. If you hadn't been doing your stupid movie quoting and distracted me this-"

"Oh no McDevious, don't you even try and put this on me! You were the one _holding_ them and-"

"You were the one pushing me to pull off your stupid John McLean impersonation! So-"

"Are you a trained federal agent or a-"

"And what exactly is going on in here?"

Dropping the half eaten pear he had been inexplicably holding onto with a soggy thump, Tony swallowed deeply at Gibbs' stealthy materialisation into the room. Tim's heart missed several beats as he took in the debris riddled mess they stood in and the scowl on their less than impressing looking boss' face. They glanced at each other subtly and relied upon their instincts to gauge what the other was thinking. They spoke in tandem with only the slightest waver and hesitation evident in their voices.

"Nothing Boss."

Gibbs' brow knitted together as he took in the bio-hazard that was once was a respectable office space. "Nothing huh?" He shook his head. "You two looking for something?" His eyes trailed delicately over the open desks and ajar filing cabinets. "Why don't ya clue me in, maybe I can help you find whatever it is." The two younger agents' stole another glance at each other, the pit in each man's stomach falling directly into the depths of hell. Tony took the bullet. "Uhh…no Boss, we're good. Just a bit of spring cleaning to celebrate closing the case. That's umm…all." Gibbs stared at him steadily for a moment. "Ziva and Abbs are gone for drinks to celebrate and you're telling me that you two would rather clean instead?"

He turned his gaze to a rapidly paling Tim.

"That the truth, McGee?"

Seeing his future slip steadily away from him, the youngest agent nodded his head jerkily. What else could he do? They'd already committed the cardinal sin of lying and he wasn't ready to face that just yet. To an average federal employee, lost van keys mightn't have presented such a big deal. But this would be their third loss of keys and the car guys were already sick of them. To the degree that they'd escalated their complaint to the Director, who'd then shrieked at Gibbs about it for much longer than was strictly necessary. Two stinging headslaps later had had them swearing to never, ever misplace expensive keys again.

That had been only two weeks ago.

Gibbs alternated his gaze between the two with an almost serpentine level of displeasure. He cleared his throat and raised a brow. "This is the last time I'm going to ask this question, so consider your answers carefully." He glanced towards the mess that surrounded them. "Are you two looking for something or are you two merely cleaning, like you've said?" They didn't dare exchange glances this time, the guilt was sudden and it was fierce. But their muttered answers were the same.

"We're cleaning, Boss."

Gibbs pursed his lips and his eyes turned from fiery pissed to coldly disappointed. Fishing in his pocket, he extracted a heavy seat of keys and their jingling had both Tony's and Tim's heads snapping upwards. He held them out on his index finger where they swung jauntily, reminding Tony forcibly of a swinging hangman's rope. His mouth went as dry as Tim's eyes went wide. They glanced at each other and the horror was clear to see.

"I found these on the way up here. Out in the car lot for any moron to pick up. Care to explain?"

Tony felt the pressure of his SFA title upon him and scratchily cleared his throat. "Boss…this is my fault. I was annoying McGee on the way up here, you know…shoving him a bit and that….and they must have fallen out of his hands because of it. We were trying to find them before anyone had to know they were missing but we couldn't because…well you must have already had them." He flinched when he saw the jumping line of Gibbs' jaw. Forcing himself to maintain eye contact, he pooled his eyes into imploring orbs. "We're sorry Boss. We didn't mean to…we know they're expensive, its just-"

"You think I care about the damned keys?"

Tony flashed surprise.

"Uhh…yes? Last time we lost them you-"

"Slapped you both upside the head, yeah, I remember. Which should have told you that whilst I might have been mildly pissed that you'd managed to lost another set, I wasn't about to go off. What _does_ make me go off though is lying. Especially lying right through your teeth, right to my face." He concentrated his gaze on both of them and his face was thunderous in the deserted bull pen. "So when I asked you both, more than once what you were doing up here, it was because I already knew and wanted you to tell me the truth. Guess it's not my day huh?"

He turned his attention to the ashamed looking McGee.

"Tony seems to be doing a lotta talking here. The hell do you have to say for yourself?"

The younger agent paled even further but managed to maintain eye contact. "It's not all Tony's fault. I should have told you the truth instead of letting him be the one who has to answer all the time." His eyes oozed sincerity. "I'm sorry Boss… _we're_ sorry. We just didn't want to have to tell you that we lost another set so soon after the last time…" He trailed off rather lamely and stole a look at Tony who gaze a slight, helpless shrugs. Even with Gibbs' hatred of apologies notwithstanding, there was jack all they could do for themselves in their current situation and both were cursing themselves for their inane impulse to lie.

Gibbs always knew.

And at the moment he was knowingly silent. Staring at his two offenders he was about as far from impressed as possible. Without warning, he suddenly turned on his heel and stormed from the bullpen. A quick speculative look at the other had both McGee and DiNozzo tearing out of the communal area to follow. They traipsed behind Gibbs in misery that was soon tinged with confusion as he marched them right past the conference room where their sentences were often executed. Neither dared to ask the other what such a diversion might mean, merely dragging themselves along after the stiff backed Gibbs.

They blinked as he suddenly stopped in his tracks and manhandled them through an unfamiliar door.

It was a disused bathroom that looked as if had been abandoned in the middle of a normal day. There was still toilet roll in the stalls and it was relatively clean. This time, Tony and Tim couldn't help but look at each other in confusion as Gibbs smartly shut and locked the door with a snap before landing in front of them with his arms crossed firmly across his chest.

"I have told you two time and time again, you do not lie to me. I don't care if you had an active role in murdering the Pope, if I ask you about it…then you better damned tell me that you had an active role in murdering the Pope. I need to be able to trust that every single word that comes out of you two geniuses is the truth, we can't do our jobs if I don't. Even if you know it's going to get you in trouble, you tell me the truth because lying will always makes things so very much worse for you. I promise you that. And I thought you knew that because this isn't the first chat we've had to have about the virtues of the truth. So you clearly need a more forceful reminder. Which is why we're here, in case you were wondering.

Their confusion was far from assuaged and he sighed heavily.

Moving spritely, he rooted around in a dust covered press above one of the cracked mirrors. Their eyes widened with horror as he extracted a thick clothes brush. Closing the press with a snap he turned back to them and raised a brow. "Back before you two were able to tie your own shoe laces, appearance was a much bigger thing in military organisations. Even NIS. One was expected to have immaculate clothing at all times, so there was always a clothes brush in each bathroom to make it possible. Obviously they're not in the newer ones downstairs, but this place has been forgotten about which is why we're here. You two boys are going to get a refresher in what happens when you lie to me."

He used his free hand to beckon Tony to him.

Feeling his legs turn to jello, it was doubtful for a moment whether his demand was going to be met. But knowing that to refuse or to barter would undoubtedly make things worse, Tony swallowed and squared his shoulders before moving closer to his face. Handling him with agility, Gibbs navigated his second in command so that he was bent over the smooth surface of the sink area with a quiet instruction not to move. Tony buried his head in his arms and complied as the dread soaked into his every pore. Turning next to McGee, Gibbs reached out and without a word placed him in the same position about a foot apart from his fallen co-conspirator with the same quiet order.

Tightening his grip on the brush in his hands, Gibbs sighed.

"If you both had told me the truth, you'd have a slight sting in your heads and be out with the girls right now. But you didn't and so this is what you get. So do yourselves and me a favour, the next time I ask you a straight up question just give me a straight up answer."

The sounds of the first crack against Tony's butt were cruelly magnified by the tiled walls. Four more fell in rapid succession with the weight of the brush being a force to be reckoned with and Tony couldn't suppress the yelp of pain as a sharp swat caught him on his right sit spot. He mewled into his arms as the pain flamed even with the protection of his slacks and closed his eyes tight.

He waited for the next swat with bated breath and he didn't have to wait long to hear it, but he didn't feel it. Breathing outwards in guilty relief as McGee's slight grunt of pain wafted around the room, he gulped down air. Mirroring the heavy breathing, Tim did his best to get through the four heavy swats that rained down after the first lick. His yowl of pain was as irrepressible as Tony's had been as the brush bit into his under curve without mercy. When the next swat rang out, he felt guilty at the relief that it wasn't his butt that was copping it. Gibbs had alternated back to Tony and another five stinging swats cracked out in quick succession before he felt his boss move back to him and the hand rest on the small of his back. His additional five swats were as fast and as severe as Tony's had been and he didn't even try to hold back his squawk of pain as he squirmed hopelessly away. He felt Gibbs step back and away from both of them and knew that Tony was thinking the same as he was. They were about to lose the protection of their slacks.

"Stand. The pair of you."

They both did so quickly but stiffly. Each was relieved but saddened at the clear pain in the other's eyes and movements. They turned to look at Gibbs with that wounded puppy expression that always cut the gruff old man's heart in two. He reached around them and threw the brush back in the press, catching both of their surprised looks. Surprise quickly turned to dismay as the two reprobates twisted to see their boss whipping three or four paper towels from the archaic dispenser and with a squeak of the rusty rap, lathering two separate wads with considerable soap. The kind of cheap soap that was bad enough when it was new and scarce, let alone aged and plentiful. But Gibbs was no novice and he knew it would do them no harm, only memorable discomfort. Turning off the tap, he squeezed out the wads until they were sudsy and frothy.

Arching a brow at the horrified looking duo, he cleared his throat.

"There's a reason you both only got ten licks apiece. And this is the reason. Clearly I need to get more creative with you two. So I want you thinking about the perils of lying on both ends. And you can do that when you speak after this and when you sit on your sore tails. And if I ever have to have this conversation with either of you again you'll look back on this with fondness." He held up the wads and cocked his head. "Let's get this over with, shall we?" He turned to Tony. "You're first. Open up." Staring with wide eyes and a sinking feeling in his gut, it was again unclear whether or not the second in command was going to obey. The sting in his rear however was a healthy reminder on right choices and with a groan, he opened his mouth.

"Wider."

Biting back a retort, he stretched his jaw wider still. The moment the wad hit his tongue and the sharp taste of the soap oozed out his eyes began to water. "Bite down," Gibbs commanded, in an oddly gentle tone and waited for compliance before releasing the wad. As Tony's eyes became even more glassy, he guided him into a dusty corner and left him there, nose first, with a quiet instruction to not move an inch. Stepping back to an equally horrified looking Tim, he plucked up the second seeping wad and repeated the same process. Tim's eyes were as watery as Tony's had been as he was led into his corner with the same instruction ringing in his ears. Stepping back and biting down a sigh, Gibbs glanced at his watch and decided five minutes was a plentiful enough amount of time.

It went by rather fast for him as he paced around the room.

For Tony and Tim, it was lifetime after lifetime after lifetime.

"Alright. That's enough. You can come out now and spit those out."

Neither agent had ever been so glad to hear the sound of Gibbs' voice as they both sprinted from their corners and spat the offending paper towel balls into the wastebasket. They glanced despairingly at the sink with wet eyes and back at Gibbs who couldn't help the fond shine that had begun to shine in his eyes as he nodded his permission. The two taps snapped on with a squeak as the two men glugged noisily from it, rinsing and spitting with indecent haste until they could tolerate the level of aftertaste that clung to their mouths. Tom was already thinking longingly of his toothbrush and toothpaste in his desk and Tony already knew that he'd allow him to borrow it, just this once.

With the tap turned off and their mouths wiped, they turned nervously back to the silent Gibbs.

He arched a brow and refolded his arms across his chest.

"Have I made my point about lying boys?"

The two heads nodded so fast it was almost comical and Gibbs couldn't help the tiny smile at the corner of his mouth. He let them squirm for just another moment before adding "and if you lose the keys to the van again, the hell are you going to do?"

They squirmed.

"Tell you," they chorused in unison, droplets of water dripping from their fringes.

He considered this for the longest moment as they stared imploringly at him, willing him to believe them. He let them stew from just another moment before moving slowly towards them. "Don't you ever make me have to repeat this lesson on the back of a successful case closing. It's not the way I want to celebrate a win. Do you understand me?" A droplet of water splashed him in the face as they both nodded fervently once more. He sighed in defeat at their beseeching gazes and pulled them one by one into a quick one armed hug and tousled their hair with affection.

"Alright then. We're done here. Go on and have some fun with the girls."

They didn't move and he raised a brow.

"What? You really want to stay in here? You don't think you've had enough?"

Tim's head nearly spun clean off his shoulders as he shook it. "No Boss," he blurted out to Gibbs' fond amusement, "It's just umm….well it's just…" He trailed off and looked to Tony for support. Nodding, the second in command cleared his throat. "It's just that I gave Tim a lift to work this morning cos' his car is in the shop and uhh….well ummm…."

Gibbs threw his eyes up to heaven.

"Just spit it out would ya."

Tony swallowed.

"I can't find my keys."

There was silence for a moment as Gibbs blinked at the pair of them. The silence seemed to stretch and stretch until it was eventually broken. By guffaws. Heavy guffaws. Heavy Gibbs guffaws. The two younger agents stared as the older man wheezed with amusement, before pushing them affectionately through the door and rooting in his pocket. "You're such a pair of…." He shook his head fondly, "I guess I can drop you at the bar. You know which one it is?"

The two exchanged another look in the bright hallway.

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"What now? You lost the ability to speak as well?"

They shook their heads.

"Naw Boss," Tony replied, "It's just…well…can't we just get food and a movie at your place instead? I'm not really in the mood for a bar. Tim?" McGee nodded fervently at the suggestion. "Me either. But I could really go for some of that steak and a film." Gibbs scrubbed a hand over his eyes. "So you two screw up and it's _my_ evening that gets ruined? How is that fair?"

Smirking, Tony reached up and yanked the keys from the older man's hand.

"Don't even pretend Boss. You know you love us."

He winked at Tim. "I'm calling shotgun probie." The junior agent's splutter of indignation was muted as he raced down the hall after the faster Tony leaving Gibbs in the proverbial dust with his mouth hanging open. When they disappeared from his view, a smile spread across his face as he begun trailing after them with Tony's words ringing in his ears.

"Yeah, I do kid. For my sins."

…..

A/N: Random One-Shot.

…..


End file.
